Listen, bub: Wolverine might be number seven on my list of the 463 coolest Marvel Comics characters, but his implausible backstory really gets under my skin. I'm not talking about the fact that his skeleton is coated with adamantium, an imaginary substance with the conductivity of metal and the indestructibility of diamond. (If we question that, then we're also discounting the vibranium in Captain America's shield, and who wants to go down that road?) No, I'm talking about the foot-long claws in Wolvie's arms. Back in the day, they were supposedly just adamantium implants—which of course colors me the fool, because I thought they'd need an elaborate system of muscles and tendons to extend and retract. But then, in later comics and the current movie series, they made the talons even more dubious. Now we're to believe that Wolverine was born with claws made out of bone. All well and good, except there is no such thing. Mammals have claws made of keratin, not bone! Hey, Marvel maroons, here's an idea for a new superhero: Freshman Biology Man!
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