Fragments of terror: memories and narratives of former insurgents in Southern Sri Lanka

摘要

How do people who have participated in extensive violence against the stateudand members of their community, understand and reflect on their experiences? Whatudmeanings do they attach to violence, and how do they go on to reformulate their livesudand deal with the consequences of their actions in its aftermath? These are among theudkey questions that this thesis considers. Anchored in a little-known violent period thatudtook place in southern Sri Lanka in the late 1980s, known locally simply as ‘theudTerror’ (Bheeshanaya), this ethnography of political violence analyses the memoriesudand narratives of those who have engaged in violence. It explores how violence isudnegotiated and lived with in the aftermath and its implications for the self andudsociality. As such, this study is concerned with how people mediate and articulateuddiscomforting memories of violence, in a post-terror context of silence and fear,udwhere justice and reconciliation are lacking. Through the accounts of people whoudhave participated in violence, this thesis provides rich insight into the consequences ofudviolence, and further highlights the flawed nature of one-dimensional ‘victim’ andud‘perpetrator’ binaries generally assumed in studies of violence, emphasising insteadudthe ambiguity that marks the experience of violence.udThis thesis is based on 14 months of fieldwork carried out primarily withudformer insurgents in southern Sri Lanka. For balance and to maximise representationudin what remains deeply contested terrain, their accounts are set against the stories ofudpeople who did not directly engage in violence, but whose lives were neverthelessudtouched by the Terror. This thesis argues that for those who have participated inudviolence, the mediation of its memory is an on-going ethical exercise. It finds thatudformer insurgents remember, give meaning to, and live with, their violent pasts inudethical terms. Remembering violence is morally tendentious and carries significantudimplications for the self and sociality in the present. Recreating life after terrorudinvolves finding an ethical framework to deal with violence, and entails ongoingudefforts to allocate moral responsibility for it. This thesis contends that as much as theudviolent past is kept alive in the present as an ethical issue, moral accountability for itudremains un-reconciled and in a constant state of flux. It shows overall the narratives of former insurgents to be contradictory and convoluted, highlighting the ambivalentudnature of memory and lived experience of violence. Moreover, it argues that for thoseudwho have participated in violence, life in the aftermath is about finding ways of livingudwith one’s violent past, rather that ‘healing’ or ‘moving on’ from it.