夫君游宦、游学、经商等相隔的凄寂情境，使得宋代妻子们的孤独非同一般的幽深。她们在寄外词中所塑造的自我形象极少符合传统意义上的贤妻良母形象，在她们的寄外词中，多是含情脉脉为情所困的苦情人，这说明宋代妻子们对自我的角色期待与社会对她们的定位存在很大的反差，她们渴望以情人兼妻子的双重身份获取丈夫感情的回报，而不是贤妻良母的无声付出。%The wives in the Song Dynasty suffered extraordinary loneliness as a consequence of their separation from their husbands, who worked as officials, or studied or did business in other places far away from home. The self-image created in their“Jiwai Ci”rarely matched the traditional image of a good wife and devoted mother. In⁃stead, they were bitterly stricken by love in their“Jiwai Ci”. This goes to show that in the Song Dynasty the wives’ own role expectations were in conflict with their positions required by society. They were eager to obtain the affec⁃tive return from their husbands with the dual roles of lovers and wives instead of offering silent devotion as under⁃standing wives and loving mothers.
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