Shortcuts: Cockburn is an a tirade against mediocrity, and is ready to shame those responsible - and explains his recent truancy

摘要

"SIZE MATTERS" the Audi brochure proclaims, proudly announcing the new A4 to be significantly longer and wider than the last one. The eight-page epistle is printed on glazed stock just short of structural and well beyond the powers of my shredder. But manual labour and some basic hand tools soon reduce it to serviceably-sized pieces and the rabbit's cage has never looked more colourful. "THE MOST POWERFUL CAYENNE OF THEM ALL" cries the press release and I'm thankful they spared us the inevitable SO FAR. Turns out that what the ugly bugger really needed was 404kW to haul its lardy-arsed 2,355kg across the unpaved at 280km/h. Be silent, my son, these people know what they're doing.