The beauty of family secrets comes from the contribution that generations have brought to its construction and from the mystery with which each person works on it in order to tell us something. There is an approach of family psychotherapy which relates certain human fears or anxieties with events which were hidden during life. The therapist helps the person to reach a state of relief by giving him/her a new meaning to the situations experienced. The secret is rather a "burden" that prevents the person to take his/her destiny in his/her own hands, by repeating certain behaviours of his/her parents (Serge Tisseron). In this case the therapist acquires a major role to help the person to unlock himself/herself in order to continue his/her life by using own resources. However the main human resource is resilience. It is more than simply adapt to adverse conditions in order to survive. Resilience links generations together and ensures continuity as well as an overcoming of human condition. Resilience helps children to find solutions to the problems, fears or unfulfilled desires of their parents. Many of these problems, fears or desires are known implicitly or explicitly by the child. Even when they are secrets, resilient children actively works with them, by looking for positive forms of expression as solutions or wish fulfilment. The child unconsciously knows the story of his parents and of descendancy and due to his resilience looks for an overcoming of parents' condition. But overcoming does not necessarily mean a better social position or remuneration. Overcoming human condition means fulfilment through a higher level of understanding, a better way of expression in front of you or others, an increase in maturity and regaining serf-confidence. I analysed 42 family stories that have highlighted the resilience and family secrets of my clients and I assessed together with them the results of psychotherapy through the confidence they had in own resilience capacity, at the end of our work.
展开▼