I don't feel comfortable on airplanes. It's not that I'm afraid of flying; it's that I'm afraid of flight attendants. I don't know how to react to someone who is being paid to be nice to me. I'm also uncomfortable with waiters, masseurs and Scientologists. So every time I'm on a plane, I wish they would just let me get out of my seat and attend to my own in-flight needs. Delta offered to meet me halfway. I could be a flight attendant on an Atlanta-to-Los Angeles trip so long as I completed one day of its 5~(1/2)-week flight-attendant-training program-and also attended to the needs of everyone else on the plane. I didn't know if I was more surprised that Delta would let me ruin a cross-country flight or that it took 5~(1/2) weeks to teach someone to be a flight attendant.
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