The phenomenon of modem urban leftover women has become increasingly significant, highlighting the social reality of plight of female matrimony. This paper explores both the targets and means of female in the process of seeking marriage in the framework of structuralism and reflects on the subjective and objective identity from the perspective of modernism based on the formation of the marriage crisis of modem leftover women. The paper also emphasizes on the combination of obligation and benefit of female appeal in the frame of social norm and the flexible ways of spouse selection under the background of social network. This paper gives consideration to both female career and marital status, seeking an effective way to free modern female from the restriction of traditional gender model.%都市“剩女”现象日益显著，引发女性婚配困境凸显的社会事实。本文基于“剩女”婚配危机的形成，从结构主义框架中探寻女性目标与手段的内外兼顾，在反思现代性视野中思考客观女性与主观女性的进退兼容，在社会交换范式中注重女性诉求的义利兼备，在社会网络视野中强调女性择偶方式的软硬兼施，在社会流动视阈中注重女性职业复出与婚姻回归的风雨兼程，以求有效的行为路径变更传统性别模式对女性婚配的现代禁锢。
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