The Peasants Are Revolting! What plutocrats can do to take Wall Street back from the occupiers

摘要

ORDER! ORDER! All right then. This meeting of the Ultra-Secret Super Committee to Defeat the Wall Street Occupation is now in session. And let me just say how nice it feels to be back together after the hiatus of the past several years. Let's not let our agendas lapse that way ever again, gentlemen. It's too much fun when we get things done. First, I'd like to congratulate the Subcommittee for the Harvesting of Pointless Distractions, which has been so successful in combing through the crowd at Zuccotti Park to find stories of interest to the tabloid press. Special commendation must go to the group that solicited complaints from local residents inconvenienced by the demonstrations. It's those human-interest stories that keep the public from focusing on the things we don't want them to retain in their tiny minds. They can't be outraged about the yawning gap between us and everybody else when they're feeling sorry for the little old lady with some dirty hippy on her doorstep. Nice work, guys.