WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE EXPECTING

摘要

I couple months ago Ilearned that two of my best friends are having a baby. Ofcourseltold them how happy I was, they're going to be great parents, etc. But... I'm terrified. I have a niece, a nephew, and friends with children. I want to be the cool uncle, buddy, and counsel to 6-year-olds. But I've never really been able to abide the disorder, the mood swings, the messes, the volatility. That sparking mesh of neurons coming online? Look. Out. I mean, I work with writers and editors for a living, so I know what it's like to deal with children. But actual juvenile Homo sapiens? Forget it. They scare the hell out of me. I am cliche levels of clueless. But then it struck me: I have a magazine. I sit in a room full of people whose entire job it is to render tough-to-grok concepts not only comprehen- sible but cool. Machine learning. Quantum super-positioning. Alcubierre warp-drives. Like, hard stuff. Even parenting would fall before the might of the wired explanatory engine. So we spun up the turbines.