I have never lost a knife fight. Because I have never been in a knife fight. I was issued a nice long hickory billy, not a knife, and a long baton always beat a shorter knife or broken beer stein. But I have cleaned up after some enthusiastic knife vs knife fights, and as a very young man formed an opinion that the only probable way to come out clean in a knife fight is to avoid a knife fight. It's funny how those who are spoiling for a knife fight are generally those who have never been in-or even observed-one. Personally, a knife duel would be my least favorite participatory sporting event. Bill Jordan made the succinct observation that in a shooting confrontation there is "no second-place winner."
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