The Subtleties of Your Tone

摘要

Consider the instances in your life in which you took an instant dislike to someone. You simply looked at each other and in a few sentences, you instinctively didn't like the person. It could have been what was said. Perhaps it was something about his or her appearance. But part of the problem is always in the tone―the way in which words are spoken. Tone belies the speaker's attitude, and if it conveys disdain, it creates a wall. It says, "You're not of much interest to me," or "Too bad you're not as smart as I am." If that's what the speaker thinks, his or her tone will give it away. I experienced a feeling of instant dislike last spring, when welcoming a new client to my tax office. She sat down and said that the year hadn't been good. I asked her a few questions, immediately detecting an attitude of "Who are you to be asking me this?" I asked her another question, and the response was, "You already asked me that."