固定性伴是男男性行为者的女性之相关生活、态度和认知

摘要

Objectives:To explore the life status,attitude and cognition of women who have regular sexual relationships with men who have sex with men (MSM),and point out the challenges faced by these women from the perspective of their own.Methods:The study was conducted based on the website funded by some of these women, who had regular sexual relationships with MSM.The respondents were limited to those whose regular sexual partners were MSM,including married,divorced and single women.Three types of questionnaire were designed according to different sub-groups and the data was collected by the inquisitional software of"questionnaire star".Results:The valid sample had 1 44 cases,including 1 00 married,33 divorced and 1 1 single.About 3/5 of respondents adopted"AA system"economically with their MSM sexual partners.Those having got married stated that the main reason for MSM to get married was the pressure from their family,and they wanted to confirm their family that they were "nor-mal man"by getting married with a woman.Before knowing the fact (the partner was an MSM),only 1/4 MSM ever initiated kisses to their wives,and only 3/1 0 of them liked fondling female breasts during sexual intercourse.Most of married or divorced women found out the truth via mobile-internet activities of MSM,and about 1/6 of them discov-ered the truth during the sexual relationships between MSM and other males directly;about 2/5 of them became a-ware of the truth after getting married for 3 years,but less than 3/1 0 of MSM admitted it when their spouse spoke it out.Less than 1/1 1 of them volunteered the truth after their marriage.After having known the truth,almost all of them had attempted to understand their sexual partners more,and some even hired private detectives.In the married group,3/4 women had children with MSM,and 1/4 had separate rooms from their spouses.The most important rea-son for not getting divorced was due to their children and distribution of the property.Only 1/1 2 thought good of their life.About 90%of the divorce was issued by the women;andnearly 1/1 0 fulfilled the divorce by means of court.3/5 of the women got no property or minute quantity of estates from divorce.The most important scrupulosity was the in-fluence on their offspring,themselves,and elders before the divorce;the key reason leading to divorce was that they believed that they had the right to look for a happy marriage besides the suffered sexual relationships with their MSM husbands.About 3/1 0 women in marriage used to have sexual partners besides their spouses.The major reason was to solve libido,recover confidence and let off dissatisfaction to their MSM sexual partners.This group of women had explored assistance when they suffered the distress from their sex partners,especially from the "gay-wife"chat room on the internet,and also their relatives and female friends;they wished to get help from psychologists,legal experts and AIDS and STDS experts.Only 1/3 were ware of that homosexual phenomenon was normal,while only 3%of those who had married before did not regret for getting married with MSM and about 9/1 0 were against the marriage between MSM and female.It was generally believed that they would not marry MSM if they had known the fact before,and that it was harmful to women’s rights and interests that MSM married with a woman without telling the truth.There were only 1/1 2 women who thought that marriages with MSM had not done great harm to them,and only 1/9 thought that MSM should be sympathized.They believed that education of sexology about sexual orientation was in great shortage and should be strengthened in our country.Those who believed that the protection of the MSM’ s right would help them to refuse marriage took up two thirds;those who believed that same-sex marriage should be legalized took accounts for 50%,and those who thought that the rights of the "MSM wives"should be protected by law exceed nine tenths.Most women had obviously negative opinions on their regular sexual partners.Conclusion:Gender discrimination and blinding to sexual orientation lead to the great issue toward the marriage of women whose regular sexual partner are MSM.It is necessary to explore the positive and effective education about gender discrimi-nation and sexual orientation,and establish correlative policy and legislation to safeguard the women’s rights.%目的：探讨固定性伴是男男性行为者（MSM）的女性之相关生活、态度和认知，从当事人角度了解该群体面对的挑战。方法：主要依托固定性伴是MSM的女性所创办的同妻网站进行动员，调查对象限定为其固定性伴是MSM的在婚、已离异或尚未结婚的女性。针对不同亚人群共设计出三套问卷。数据收集通过互联网调查软件“问卷星”进行。结果：有效样本144例，在婚组100人，离异组33人，未婚组11人。与MSM固定性伴在经济上是“AA制”者约3/5。有婚史者认为MSM结婚的最重要原因是亲长要求，用婚姻来证明其“正常”。在知道（对方是MSM）真相前，MSM对固定性伴仅1/4有过主动亲吻行为，性交时3/10喜欢爱抚女性乳房。有婚史者中多数人通过MSM的移动互联网活动发现真相，约1/6直接发现MSM与其他男性的性交往；结婚3年后才知道真相者约2/5，在女方说出真相时，对方承认者不足3/10，MSM婚后主动说出真相者不足1/11。知道真相后她们几乎都曾试图尽多了解MSM固定性伴，少数人甚至雇用私家侦探。在婚组中与MSM有子女者3/4，已分居者约1/4；尚未离异的最重要原因首先是顾忌到子女和财产分配，认为自己生活（较）幸福者仅1/12。离异组中女方提出离异者9/10，通过法院离婚近1/10；女方“净身出户”或仅得到很少财产者占3/5；离异前的最大顾虑是对子女、自己和亲长的影响；离异的最重要原因是认为自己有权利寻找幸福婚姻和夫妻性生活严重不和谐。有婚史者在婚期间有过婚外性伴者3/10，其原因首先是解决性饥渴，恢复自信心和宣泄对MSM固定性伴的不满。该女性群体在为性伴侣状况苦恼时普遍得到过帮助，但最重要的帮助者通常是互联网上的“同妻”、亲人和女友，她们希望获得心理专家、法律专家和艾滋病性病专家帮助。她们中知道同性爱是正常现象者仅1/3；有婚史者中对与MSM结婚仅3％不后悔，约9/10反对MSM与女性结婚，普遍认为若提前知道真相则不会与MSM结婚，MSM隐瞒真相结婚是对女性权益的重大伤害；认为与MSM结婚未对自己造成重大伤害者仅1/12，认为应同情MSM者仅1/9。她们普遍认为我国有关性向的性科学教育严重不足，应加强这一教育。她们认为MSM权益得到保障有助于MSM不结婚者占2/3，认为同性婚姻应合法化者约1/2，认为应有法律保护“同妻”权益者超过9/10。大多数女性对其固定性伴给予明显负面评价。结论：性别歧视和对性向现象的不知情，使固定性伴是MSM的女性的婚恋生活存在重大问题，有必要积极促进有关性别和性向平等的教育，并通过实施相关政策和立法保障女性权利。