The smelting of copper and other non-ferrous metals have made considerable advances over the last 125 years. Many of the ideas and processes currently in use were attempted early in the history of smelting and were unsuccessful. Often the cause was incomplete understanding of the metallurgy involved, inadequate refractories, poor materials of equipment fabrication or trying too many new ideas at once. With time, these problems get solved and the technologies become commercialized. These were processes whose time had not come when originally proposed, but did eventually. On the other hand, there have been some concepts whose time will never come. They were impossible then and they are impossible now. The people that dream these up were either crackpots (they didn't know what they were doing, but thought they did), or charlatans (they knew they didn't know what they were doing, but thought they did), or charlatans (they knew they didn't know what they were doing, but didn't care). Both rely on had science to propose metallurgical absurdities. These too have their place in the development of technology, though mostly negative, and several examples will be discussed in this paper. Three from around the turn of the century will be covered, as well as one from this decade. The last demonstrates that the art of creating absurdities has not withered, even after ninety years of scientific sophistication, and some can even be patented. The first three reached field trials due to the gullibility of company management. The last arose from a fortuitous mis-operation of a plant which solved a problem, but the explanation and patent which arose are metallurgically impossible.
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