One of my favourite TED Talks is titled: 'Instead of setting goals, define your fears'. Tim Feriss, early-stage tech investor, best-selling author and podcaster, argues that "the hard choices - what we most fear doing, asking, saying - these are very often exactly what we most need to do". The talk, which is based on the principles of Stoicism, advocates 'fear-setting' in place of goal-setting. Tim recommends doing a three-part exercise where a person asks, firstly, 'What if I...?' and then fills in the blank with something that they fear, or something they are avoiding, or that causes them anxiety. They then must make three lists under the headings: define, prevent, repair. Under these headings, the person writes a list 'defining' all the worst things they can imagine happening as a result of taking the action that scares them. Then they list under 'prevent' some things they could do to prevent each of those worst outcomes from happening. Finally, under 'repair' they list what they could do to repair the damage (or who could they ask for help and support) if the worst-case scenario happens. For part two of the exercise, they must ask themselves 'what might be the benefits of an attempt or partial success?' For part three: list the potential costs of inaction (emotionally, physically, financially, etc): in six months' time, in a year's time; and in three years' time. Tim says: "ask yourself: if I avoid this action or decision, what might my life look like?" Tim says it's lifechanging, and recommends doing the activity once a quarter.
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