A patient's diary: episode 18 — meet Mrs Gland's American cousin

摘要

So here I am over in England having a little vacation for the sake of my health. Now I am not saying that England is such a healthy spot, although I have nothing against the place personally. But the fact is that I need to cross the ocean a little hastily in order to avoid the attentions of certain citizens known to one and all in my hometown as Harry the Horse and Spanish John. These characters are hard guys indeed and they are sored up with me more than somewhat on account of a sure-fire certainty at the racetrack which I passed on to them with the best of intentions. Unfortunately the sure-fire certainty turns out to be a real bum steer and blows in the first race at Belmont whereupon Harry the Horse and Spanish John are anxious to interview me. In fact, they are putting it around that when they catch up with me they are about to take serious risks with my health with a couple of John Roscoes that they carry in their hip pockets. Now, I am totally opposed to illegality of every kind, but I take a special objection to violence against my person. In fact this is the kind of excitement I want no part of.