Soccer has a long history in the U.S. as a socialist bogeyman. Americans resisted the game for decades because it was a foreign invention. Even now, when the World Cup comes around or FIFA erupts in scandal, conservatives warn that the sport is un-American, as if any game that allows for scoreless ties and forbids the use of hands is worthy of the Politburo. "Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer," Ann Coulter wrote last summer. "The blame is dispersed, and almost no one scores anyway."
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