“My Generation is Quite a Sullen One…”: Trauma and Remembering in Life Stories after 1956

摘要

Following 1989, the public discussion and examination of the history ofudsecret police agents happened in an inadequate, unsatisfactory manner: Hungarianudsociety was unable to come to terms with its former informers. This proved toudbe a loss not only for the victims, “the targets”, but also for the “observers”. Theudcatharsis of asking and receiving forgiveness did not occur, although it could haveudlead to deliver provided relief also for those who were involved.The purpose ofudthis essay is to describe the life story of E. V., who suffered a nervous breakdownudwhen her fiancé was executed in 1957 during the post-revolutionary persecutions.udMeanwhile the political police recruited her as an agent. Based on the availableudsources, it is possible to claim that after the Hungarian political transformationudin 1989, E. V. reshaped her memory and her personal identity because she wasudunable to face her past. She claimed in her life history interview: “I am no relativeudor friend to anyone”.