Francis Ives, the outgoing chairman of Cyril Sweett, was given a suitably debauched send-off last week, with revellers moving on to a private members' club until half three in the morning. Sore heads all round, I hear. Earlier in the evening, after chief exec Dean Webster gave a "speech" to assembled competitors and collaborators that sounded suspiciously like an upbeat annual report, Ives was able to be rather more candid. It seems he started out in the business checking timesheets, and once found that a wag had logged two and half hours off for "shagging the office cat". Naturally, he was shocked, he said, "because it wouldn't have taken two-and-a-half hours".
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