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儿童的羞感与耻感教育

     

摘要

It is worth researching in depth into sense of being shy which implies the secret of human nature,the secrets of the origin of human awareness of values,and the secrets of childishness.Phenome-nological analysis of the sense of being shy shows that it comes from a sense of self-protection rather than social sense.The crucial part causing such sense is becoming oneself but not other’s attention.The latter is the source that results in the confusion of the sense of being shy with the sense of shame or the combined term “sense of being shy and shame”.The difference between sense of being shy and sense of shame not only lies in the extent and the way of emotional experience and reaction but also the direction of self-experi-ence.Sense of being shy is natural and spontaneous,which comes from the weak self and cares for intimate self,while sense of shame is acquired and comes from the maintaining of social self and dignity.The chil-dren with sense of being shy are truly children and those with sense of shame are more like adults.The ed-ucation of shame is essential,and should be carried out on the basis of the sense of being shy.The shame education trampling on sense of being shy leads to children’s abnormal even psychopathic personality.The instant shame education will cause arrogance and self-conceit in children.%羞感中蕴含了人性的秘密、人类价值意识起源的秘密,也蕴含了童心和童性的秘密,因而是值得深入研究的。羞感的现象学分析表明:羞感是自我保护感而非社会感;引起羞感的决定性事件是“转回自我”而非被他人注视。后者是把羞感混同于耻感或不加限制地把二者合称为“羞耻感”的认识根源。羞感和耻感不仅在情绪体验和行为反应的程度和方式上有别,而且在自我体验的方向上有本质差异。羞感是自然的、自发的,它出于弱的自我并呵护个体的亲密自我,而耻感是后天形成的,它出于强力自我并维护个体的社会自我和尊严感。羞感中的儿童更像是儿童,耻感中的儿童则更接近成人。耻感教育是必要的。但耻感教育必定要借助羞感。蹂躏羞感的耻感教育可能导致反常人格甚至变态人格的儿童。急功近利的耻感教育则可能培养自大、自负甚至狂妄的儿童。

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