Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I know you're as pleased as I am to be here tonight to honor Mr. Al Dunlap on the occasion of his, er, retirement from American senior management. Yes, the big boy is hanging up his chain saw, and I'm sure that all of you out there would rather give up a flight of stock options than miss his goodbye bash. So ... let's bash! Hey, Al, just kidding, you big lug. Who luvs ya? Dude! You know, ladies and gentlemen, when you've been in business as long as I have, you've looked at a lot of rubber chicken. But I think I speak for everyone concerned when I say that never in my experience was an evening like this one more eagerly anticipated, or richly deserved. Well now, enough sentiment, huh? Let's cut to the chase— and I do mean cut!
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